How can I better serve God?
How can I take better care of my body?
How can I be more patient?
How can I be more humble?
How can I, How can I, How can I????
This is my usual thought process (intermingled with my to do list) on my walks with God. My prayers usually revolve around God making me better whatever in accordance with my most glaring current shortcoming
I have read faith books, bible studies, self help books, talked at nauseam to God and my friends about what I want to do better in my life.
On today’s walk I was just tired. Tired of hearing myself babble. I started my walk off by asking God if He could help me enjoy His company today. Just walk side by side with me.
If God had something to say I was happy to listen but if not I has happy to just stroll along silently.(This is not easy for me)
Then I had an “aha” moment. I think God did have a nugget or two today.
It isn’t about “I”. God doesn’t always want me working on myself. This is the enemies trick. The devil gets us to be so self focused that it keeps our focus and attention off of God, That is the danger. We think we are pursuing God but in reality we are pursing self.
If my thoughts and energy are always on me how can I be of use and serve others? Self focus always makes sure we never obtain an unrealistic bench mark we have set. Self focus makes sure we are unsatisfied and not complete.
Don’t get me wrong, I think self improvement is important but not when it is our primary focus. Not when it is done because we are really trying to control things in our lives instead of submitting to God’s will us.
So after my next bible study I am going to take a self help break. I am going to throw myself into the bible and just be in God’s word. I am curious what He has to say to me when I am not telling him what I think my plan should be.