Almost 18 years of guiding, going to seminars, going to church, getting my cherubs mentors, having them go to youth group and bible studies. I felt we had given our babies every tool to make good decisions.
That is why it is so devastating when they choose the wrong path. We gave them everything in our power to guide them down the right path. They chose poorly.
The decision was life altering. It is a no take back situation. They have to deal with the consequences. The consequences will rear their ugly head many times over the course of their young lives.
And honestly I feel pretty helpless. As your babies get older the decisions they have to make get harder. Every single part of our culture leads our children against God’s plan. What is good is, at best, critiqued and ridiculed. What is bad is celebrated and encouraged. Parenting morals and values is an uphill battle. I have this visual of the 2 of us pushing a giant rock up hill and the rest of the world pushing that rock with their feet and hands back down.
As parents, we just have to sit back and watch. We are not mad, we are just sad.We all want what is best for our children. The guidance we give them is an attempt to save them from heartache and suffering. As they get older you realize, no matter how much guidance and how many right things you do, they have to suffer. They have to have heartache. They cannot learn from their mistakes unless they make them.
At these times the natural reaction is to grab a hold tighter. To set more rules and monitor more closely. But that isn’t going to work. At some point in their life you have to let go. You have to let failures happen.
The only path I can see to take is laying out consistent expectations and talking about the bumps in the road. This makes your home a safe place for your children when they mess up. Grace and mercy are our friends during these times. Using these times to re-emphasize God’s word. To gently let them know that these choices are not part of what God wants for them.
Even though I think we all feel helpless sometimes we have to remember that we have the power of God in us. That makes us far from helpless.
Romans 5:3-6 reminds us “ Not only so, but we[ also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.have
God’s in our corner. Nothing is a surprise to Him. Each moment in our lives serves a purpose for His plan.
So you can let go with confidence. We were only stewards of our children in the first place. They were never really ours, they are His and He loves them so much more than we ever could. We can continue to guide but ultimately their path is already set. God has His arms around them.