Be the Sand for Your Tween

11Cherub number 3 just turned 11 this month. We are in new rougher waters. We don’t know how to navigate these seas right now.

11 isn’t like it used to be. ( I totally blame Disney and Nickelodeon)

You just cannot shelter your cherubs from all the growing up too fast stuff that is out there.

11 is so different from 10.

Over the past month 11 has evolved into this;

11 wants to go to the mall and shop at Forever 21

11 has a crush on a boy

11 goes in her room and talk to her BFF on the phone (a lot)

11 does her homework in her room with headphones on listening to music

11 closes her bedroom door all the time

11 is a whirlwind of emotion – cranky, followed by remorse, followed by loving, followed by joyful, and back to cranky, all within 5 minutes

11 is sweet and kind and loving and funny. She is all around good company

All of those above things except that last one are new.

She is stuck between being a little 11-year-old and a tween. She wants to wear makeup and a moment later wants me to rub her back and snuggle.

This is a hard time to parent, it is hard to keep up with the changes. It is hard to stay calm.

But I think it is harder to be 11. She is so vulnerable and susceptible to outside influences. She is trying to figure out the type of girl she wants to be seen as.

She is as confused by these waves of emotions as I am. Add in hormones and for the love…..

But she needs us now more than ever.

She needs us to stay calm and supportive. In place of my usual angry self when there is a rant going on I literally pray each time that God helps me parent this child they way I need to. (This has been amazingly helpful)

She needs us to just listen and give less opinions (this is almost killing me btw)

She needs less of my sarcastic “Really, that is how you are gonna roll”?  statements. Which I see reflected back in her sarcasm that is all too prevalent now.

She needs us to stick with what we say, especially when it comes to discipline.  We are hanging tough on consequences. Before I was kind of a softie because most of the stuff really didn’t matter, But now it matters, A LOT. Sneaking a cookie is one thing, but sneaking make-up is totally another and has much more significant ramifications. In fact during a rant last week this spewed forth from cherub #3 “Mom, you used to the coolest most chill mom and now you are the strictest”

Much to her dismay I took this as a compliment.

She needs me to get on the same page as my hubby. What bridge do we want to die on? We are saying no to quite a few things lately; social media, make up, etc. Which ones are the most important and more importantly what can we say yes to?

She needs more hugs, even in the middle of a rant. I am surprised by how effective this has been too. Not all the time, but it is worth a shot.

She also needs me to grow up a bit so I can be the rock she can count on. Steady and unshakable as she tries throwing me off-balance or knocking me down completely.

That’s all I got mommas.

I don’t know how effective this plan will be. We are working it out as we go. But I do know we need to be the sand which provides the boundary for the sea.

Jeremiah 5:22 ‘Do you not fear Me?’ declares the LORD ‘Do you not tremble in My presence? For I have placed the sand as a boundary for the sea, An eternal decree, so it cannot cross over it. Though the waves toss, yet they cannot prevail; Though they roar, yet they cannot cross over it.

Psalms 107:29 He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed.

 

Classic Styles to Incorporate into your Wardrobe

Happy Monday Mommas,

Below are some of my favorite fashion staples. Check out my Pintrest Board for some of my favorite looks and how to incorporate these pieces. http://www.pinterest.com/mogang5/style-for-women-over-40/

ALSO DON’T FORGET TO HIT THE TOP MOMMY BLOG BADGE ON MY SIDE BAR TO KEEP US ON TOP MOMMY BLOGS. XOOXOXO

The Cool Black Leather Moto Jacket for women – this jacket never goes out of style. It is so versatile and chic. It can dress up or down any outfit depending on how you utilize it.  If the biker look is too much for you than you can always go with a softer color, brown beige or even pink.

Leopard flats. Again super versatile and adds flair to any outfit

Striped shirt – Classic style. Never goes out. You can dress it up, dress it down, wear it with an opposite print (like polka dots) wear it under a blazer or with a sweater. You can almost wear this any way you would like. In fact I wear mine so much that I have 2 , one in navy and 1 in grey.

Banana Republic Wool-Blend PantsBlack Pants – sleek and stylish. Casual or dressy….enough said

Dark Jeans that fit you well

Red Flats Black, Red & Neutral Flats – summer, winter, spring or fall. These work with any combination and any season (unless you live where it snows and if you do I am sorry you are down to just Spring and Summer for these beauties) Choose red to give a pop of color to any outfit

 

 Black or Brown Boots – Spring, Fall, Winter, Knee high or ankle depending on which style your prefer. Side note, Marshalls, TJ Max and even Target have some great options. This doesn’t have to be a giant expense

Check out these 2 links on how to wear boots.

10 ways to wear ankle boots

http://www.babble.com/style/10-ways-to-wear-ankle-boots-and-tips-to-keep-those-outfits-balanced/

10 ways to wear riding boots

http://www.babble.com/style/10-ways-to-wear-your-boots-this-fall-and-15-tips-to-keep-those-outfits-balanced/

Black BlazerBlack Blazer – feminine and just all round rad. Wear it with jeans, dresses, slacks, skirts. You name it and it goes

Statement Necklace A statement necklace – It doesn’t have to be expensive but it should be noticeable. It can make a simple outfit really standout and look stronger

These are some fun easy pieces to get you started. Check back next Monday for more tips.

 

Grapefruit Sculpin IPA – Ballast Point Brewing Company

GrapefruitSculpin_Primary1I know I review a lot of Ballast Point Beers but that is because they are a great brewery. They always have delicious well-balanced beers. Some of their beers are very forward thinking like the one in today’s review.

First off if you have not tried Sculpin you really should it is one T-Rffic IPA

The flavor – Well obviously grapefruit forward but nicely hoppy with apricot and citrus. Pleasantly bitter from grapefruit and hops but balanced with fruity sweetness

 

Style – American IPA

Pour- Medium Amber, very clear with a white frothy head

Body – Medium, crisp and pleasantly carbonated

ABV – 7%

Finish – Crisp and clean. Slightly bitter lingering flavor

CUISINE – Coconut Rice, Jerk Chicken, Pineapple Upside Down Cake

4  out of 5 stars – this is assuming you like grapefruit

4 out  of 5

Easy to Follow Instructions from God

1thessolWhen I am finished with my ridiculous amount of prayer request that I submit to God each night I spend a fair amount of my prayer time trying to figure out how I can serve God.

What can I do?

How can I be a light?

Asking for opportunities and words to draw people to Him.

I know I do not have to do anything for God.

He certainly doesn’t need my help but I am so dang grateful for how totally rad my life is even though I DO NOT at all deserve any of it.

I just want to show my appreciation and let others see that if I can be this happy in spite of a litany of terrible decisions so can they.

Last night a friend of mine was talking about a verse in 1 Thessalonians 5.

It is basically 10 verses that lay out specific instructions on how we can serve God. It is so easy and clear. Especially verses 16-18.

If you are like me and continually throwing darts trying to hit what we can do to show our love and appreciation let’s try the instructions in this passage;

1 Thessalonians 5 12:22

Final Instructions

12 Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not treat prophecies with contempt 21 but test them all; hold on to what is good, 22 reject every kind of evil.

God seems pretty easy to please. I tend to over complicate things But really God makes it very simple.

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I am not the woman I want to be but that is OK

One of the things I have realized about being a Christian is that I fall  short every day….. so so so so short.

I am constantly asking God to make me into a better mother, better wife, better person.

I am not super patient so this stumbling on a daily basis thing irritates me. I feel like I am not making the progress I should be making.

However, today on my sanity saving walk I was reflecting on the person I used to be.  Holy smoke, when I look back at that time and compare it to where I am now I am blown away by how God has softened my heart and started this little transformation.

So today I decided to give thanks for all the changes I see instead of all the changes I want to see.

Dear God,

Thank you for lifting my spirits through Christian Music. Your gift of words and music to these artists inspires me and makes my heart soar.

(I am a southern and 80’s rock type of gal. I love me some Guns N Roses and never ever thought I would predominately listen to Christian music. It was not a conscious decision, it just gradually happened and much to my delight is has been an amazing change)

Below are a couple of my favs.

Broken Together & Praise You in the Storm

god wordDear God,

Thank you for helping me realize how powerful Your word is. I crave your word and my heart takes delight at your instruction. Thank you for allowing me to feel spiritually depleted when I neglect being in your word.

(I used to be the parent that would only go to church if my cherubs were doing something special that day. We would sit in the back of the church and sneak out as soon as they were done. I never thought I would love going to church)

forgive1

Dear God,

Thank you for softening my heart. Thank you for the desire to forgive and for the ability to recognize when I do not want to forgive. Thank you for allowing me to ask you to help me forgive when I cannot do it on my own. Thank you for the peace I feel when I release a grudge.

(I can forgive more easily now. Not all the time, but better than it was.)

right_way_wrong_way

Dear God,

Thank you for helping me discern right from wrong. Thank you for that little voice that gets louder when I am going to make a crummy choice. Thank you for convicting my heart when I choose poorly so I can make things right

(I choose the right path more often than I used to. More importantly I am able to recognize the wrong path more frequently.)

not-just-loving-jesus-in-love-with-jesus

Dear God,

Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for filling my heart with love for You.

(I used to feel embarrassed about my faith. Afraid of being judged as some religious weirdo. Now I don’t care. I feel convicted of my faith. I want to stand up for Jesus when the opportunity presents itself.) 

There is still a looonnnnggggg way to go but I do know God’s timing is perfect. He is gently guiding me each day and transforming me into the woman He wants me be, in a time frame that is best for me.

He knows my heart no matter how I try to hide the ugly parts from him. His timing helps me conquer those yucky parts

All of these little things add up to a much much more fulfilled and happier wife and momma

Today look back at the old you and recognize the great works God has done in you as He holds your hand and guides you down His path for you.

 

 

 

 

Body Shapes and How to Dress for Them

OK MOMMAS, did you decide what body shape you were after last week’s post?

This post will contain some tips on what clothes to buy for each body type.

bodyshapes

 

 

 

 

hourglassbodyshape-waistpoint-skinnyvscurvyHourglass – your body is curvy. You are busty and have a booty combined with a small waist. Think Marilyn Monroe or Sophia Vegara

How to dress the hourglass body type

You will want to accentuate your very feminine body so fitted clothes (at the right places) are key. Another objective may be to elongate your legs.

howtodressthehourglassshape

Upper body

  • A good bra is essential for this body type. Make sure you get a good supportive bra that will thrust your bust. You will want to wear mostly V-shaped tops or tops with a deep neckline. High necklines will just make your bust area too bulky
  • Look for dresses that fit your boobs and elongate your waist. They should fit very snugly around that area.
  • If you have some weight around the abdomen then make sure your buy your dress in supportive fabric.
  • T-shirts look nicest when they fit your waist, have a V-neck and have some accents on the shoulders.
  • Get a coat that highlights your waist and features a V-neck.
  • Wear single-breasted jackets that are tailored. They will often look best when left open to create a nice vertical line, which elongates
  • Choose shirts that accentuate your boobs and that don’t have buttons all the way to the top.
  • Tops that flare just below the boob area and go to below your crutch can be very flattering on trousers.
  • Little fitted jackets that tuck in your boobs will look great on you.
  • Use light scarves in winter to cover your open V-neck.
  • Wear darker colors on top to make your boobs appear smaller.

Lower body

  • Pencil skirts that fit well are ideal for the hourglass as they accentuate your wonderful curves.
  • Other skirts can work too but will usually look better when they end around the knee.
  • Opt for flat front boot cut trousers, preferably with stretch for a snug fit.
  • Choose shoes that accentuate your curves, like shoes with rounded toes, peep toes or bows.

What not to wear

  • Avoid too many thrills on your clothes as they will add extra bulk to places where you don’t need it.
  • Avoid excess fabric for the same reason.
  • Often it’s best to avoid obvious waistbands or belts. Let your clothes accentuate your small waist.
  • Flat lace-up shoes.
  • Be careful with casual clothes. They make  you look boxy.

 

verticalbodyshape-celebsTriangle or Pear – Smaller top with hips and a booty. Think J Lo or Jennifer Aniston

How to dress for your pear body shape?

Pears tend to store their weight on their thigh and their legs may be heavy. Often they have a very good upper body which is why much on the emphasis in dressing is on the upper side of the body.

howtodressapearshapedbody

Upper body

  • Create vertical lines with vertical stripes
  • Open necklines and collars, like halter necks, v-necks and scoop necks
  • Wear soft feminine textures to soften the shoulder line
  • Avoid extra width and wear single breasted tailored jackets
  • Wear jackets open to create a vertical line
  • Wear jackets that are well structured at the shoulder
  • Look for tops that will accentuate the waist, like tops with banding or nipping at the waist or wrap style tops
  • Wear tops that accentuate a vertical line, so go for V-necks and keep your shirts unbuttoned
  • Also find tops that balance the bust with your hips (if you have a large bust)
  • Wear tops just below the hip bone
  • Wear a darker color on top
  • Wear strapless gowns and tops
  • Use belts to define your waist even more

Lower body

  • Create more width and overall balance below with A-line or full skirts.
  • Use bold textures to create more bulk.
  • Horizontal stripes will make the lower body wider.
  • Fuller leg width in trousers, full or bootleg pants.
  • If trousers don’t fit your waist or bum, get them altered at the tailor.
  • Have pockets or embellishments on your trousers or skirts.
  • Wear bold and eye catching shoes.

What not to wear

  • Avoid shoulder pads or anything that accentuates the shoulders
  • Boat necks
  • Horizontal lines on top
  • Over-sized collars or lapels on jackets
  • Very chunky knits (if you want to wear these, choose a dark color)
  • Big bold pattern and graphics on top as it has a widening effect
  • Tapered skirts

celebs-with-inverted-triangle-body-shapeInverted Triangle –  Strong Shoulder, not much waist or hip definition. Think Cindy Crawford or Demi Moore

The aim of dressing for this body type

If you desire to have what is considered to be the most ideal body shape, hourglass, you will want to draw attention away from your broad shoulders or big upper chest and draw attention to your slim lower body and often lean legs. You can apply the following guidelines dressing for this body type.

howtodresstheinvertedrectanglebodyshape

How to dress for your inverted triangle shape

Upper body

  • Create vertical lines with vertical stripes
  • Open necklines and collars, like halter necks, v-necks and scoop necks
  • Wear soft feminine textures to soften the shoulder line
  • Avoid extra width and wear single breasted tailored jackets
  • Wear jackets open to create a vertical line
  • Wear jackets that are well structured at the shoulder
  • Look for tops that will accentuate the waist, like tops with banding or nipping at the waist or wrap style tops
  • Wear tops that accentuate a vertical line, so go for V-necks and keep your shirts unbuttoned
  • Also find tops that balance the bust with your hips (if you have a large bust)
  • Wear tops just below the hip bone
  • Wear a darker color on top
  • Wear strapless gowns and tops
  • Use belts to define your waist even more

Lower body

  • Create more width and overall balance below with A-line or full skirts.
  • Use bold textures to create more bulk.
  • Horizontal stripes will make the lower body wider.
  • Fuller leg width in trousers, full or bootleg pants. Colottes will work for you too.
  • If trousers don’t fit your waist or bum, get them altered at the tailor.
  • Have pockets or embelishments on your trousers or skirts.
  • Wear bold and eye catching shoes.

What not to wear

  • Avoid shoulder pads or anything that accentuates the shoulders
  • Boat necks
  • Horizontal lines on top
  • Oversized collars or lapels on jackets
  • Very chunky knits (if you want to wear these, choose a dark color)
  • Big bold pattern and graphics on top as it has a widening effect
  • Tapered skirts

 

 

celebs-with-rectangle-body-shapesRectangle – Bust and hips are about the same with no real waist definition. Think Natalie Portman or Gywneth Paltrow

 

 

How to dress for your rectangle body shape?

This is one of the easier body types for dressing. Many models tend to have this body shape or the inverted triangle shape. A lot of clothes will usually suit you and fit you well, although some of the taller women may have trouble finding clothes that fit properly. Still, many rectangles will find dressing a bit more of a challenge as they are likely to get extra weight around their tummies as they age (usually after menopause).

As a rectangle you will want to create more curves and a pleasing silhouette. You can do this by defining the waist and creating curves on the bottom or top.

On the other hand, you can also get away with a straight look and surrender the waist line altogether.

howtodresstherectangelbodyshape

What not to wear?

  • Avoid shapeless clothes
  • If you want to add curves then avoid straight dresses, but you can also opt for the waistless look!

Which garments are good for a rectangle body shape?

Top

  • Use strong blocks of color to help define your body
  • As for most body types, be sure to wear a good bra to define what bust you have
  • Wear tops and jackets that emphasize the waist
  • Choose a coat with a good waist or that is belted at the waist
  • Any jacket tailored around the waist will look great
  • You can use some shoulder padding (don’t overdo it though)
  • Medium to high necklines usually work well, especially if you have s small bust and long neck
  • If you like to create the illusion of bigger breasts, choose tops with pockets, rushes, pleating and other front details
  • Halter necks will also give the appearance of a bigger bust and shows off your back
  • Accessorize with belts around the waist. Heavy belts can be really good if you’re also long waisted
  • If you have no waist at all, then a belt is best avoided
  • 3/4 sleeves usually work really well for a rectangle
  • Blouses can look really good if they are tucked in
  • Shift dresses and empire line dresses work well, but I also like to break the rule with dropped waist dresses!

Bottom

  • A-line skirts work really well for this shape
  • You can also go the other way and wear a tight skirt or pants to highlight the curves that you DO have
  • You can wear almost any shape trousers but slightly flared trousers will look great on you as it will add more shape to your body. Low to mid waited pants are usually best.
  • A knee length pencil skirt that tapers in at the side will also add some curves and look good
  • If you like the waistless look you can opt for straight skirts and shirt dresses
  • For shoes, opt for curvier and rounded options like ballerinas and pumps.

celebs-with-apple-body-shapeApple – Slender legs and arms with your challenge being your middle section which is round (this is my body type…deep sigh) Think Jennifer Hudson or Elizabeth Hurley

How to dress the apple body shape

This is a body shape that often develops after 40 when you start to experience symptoms of (peri)menopause and may gain weight around your waist.

To be honest this is not the easiest body shape to dress as many women with this shape will be well aware of. Some women tend to cover it all up with loose garments, which in most cases is not the right thing to do.

What you DO want to do is to create the nicest silhouette possible. For many apples you can do that by creating the illusion of a waist, highlight your cleavage and create nice vertical lines.

Below are some rough guidelines what will and will not work for many apple shaped women over 40.

howtodressappleshapebody

What not to wear?

  • Big puffy jackets
  • Big shapeless garments that don’t show any waist
  • Bulky trousers with lots of pockets and zippers at the front
  • High necklines
  • Tight clingy T-shirts
  • Avoid wearing everything in one solid coloour. Better to mix color with a texture

Which garments are good for an apple body shape?

Tops

  • First of all, since a lot of attention is going to be drawn to the top part of your body, get yourself a good fitting bra.
  • Tops that highlight your body at the slimmest point which is often just underneath your bust. They should have enough space for your belly but not be too wide.
  • Buy t-shirts that are ruched in the middle. This will confuse the eye and you can’t tell that there’s a big tummy underneath.
  • Get Tops with a V-neck to break up the size of your chest and create a lean line.
  • Look for tops with a thicker texture that don’t cling so much. Woven tops can be great.
  • The best height for tops is just belong your hipbone (when worn with pants)
  • Patterns tend to look very good on an apple shape body as they flatter and camouflage.
  • Tops should cover the whole belly area and end just below the hip bone.
  • Shirts look nicest when they are tight just underneath the boobs and then go out. Also try to get the v shape with your shirts.
  • Choose tailored jackets that have a nice v shape at the top.
  • Tops that draw attention to your arms with e.g. flares, a flit or embroidery will draw attention from your belly
  • Having a tie at the waist is great as it highlights the waist and hides the belly.
  • A straight duster coat that ends just above the knee will create a nice long silhouette.
  • Structured jackets help to create a nice silhouette. Wear them over tops and make sure that they define your waistline.
  • Make sure that the jacket fits the shoulder perfectly, so choose the size for your shoulders, not your belly. If you can’t close the jacket, you can always use a scarf to fill the gap if you like.
  • Dresses should have their waistline just below the bust.
  • It’s always good to have some detailing on the tummy area for camouflage.

Bottoms

  • Get trousers that have zippers at the side to avoid adding extra bumps on the front.
  • Trousers should be flared or straight and not cling to tummy or thighs. Avoid pleats.
  • Also choose jeans that are tailored and  either straight or flared. Trouser jeans are ideal.
  • Pants with a high rise will create a nice silhouette.
  • It’s best to get trousers with some stretch for extra comfort and a good fit.
  • Choose skirts that have their zippers at the side.
  • Structured pencil skirts work well, but keep them at knee length.
  • Make sure that any pleats of skirts start below the belly to avoid adding extra volume.

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INDRA KUNINDRA CURRY EXPORT STOUT – Ballast Point

beers-indra-kunindra-primary-imageThis beer is kind of a fun beer.

But you have to be prepared for the flavor profile and understand what you are about to drink to enjoy it.

It is pretty spicy. If you serve it with a nice Indian or Thai dish it would compliment well. It would be fun to serve at a dinner party

Tip- It is not a sit around and just drink it beer. Definitely needs food to help balance the flavors. But when served with food it is a lovely pairing

 

The flavor – Madras Curry, Cumin, Cayenne, Coconut, and Kaffir Lime Leaf.

Style – Curry Stout

Pour- Dark brown with a mocha head. Serve in a tulip glass

Body – It can be overpowering. Serve slightly warmer so you don’t get slapped in the face with the curry and cayenne

ABV – 7%

Finish – Warm and spicy

Pairs well with

CUISINE – Coconut Macaroons, White rice with curry shrimp or Hawaiian Ribs

3.5  out of 5 stars

H_3 and a Half Stars Wht