I saw an quote the other day it read, “Finding a woman to sleep with is easy but try to find one to pray with.” It was powerful and true. I sent it to my boys. But it got me thinking. What type of man do I want my boys to be? What moral code do I really want to make sure they follow? What will set them up for success in their life? Not just the standard answers… “Man of God,” “Loving Husband and Father,” but drilling down into it what are we really trying to accomplish. What is God’s will for them? Not our will.
We have a deep responsibility to lead our children down the path of a God centered life. This will be a life of contentedness, love and fulfillment. When I think of the men I really want my boys to become I realize this is the answer.
All of the other things will fall into place if they are God focused. If their desires are the things that God desires.
So here is our list. Let us know what you think.
1) Don’t objectify women – in today’s culture, at every turn, we are slapped in the face by some type of media where women are apparently only attractive if they are showing as much of their bodies as possible. We actually saw a billboard yesterday that was advertising bathing suits. The girl on it had literally her entire butt exposed. How can we teach our boys that if a women feels that positive attention comes from the fact that her butt is showing then she is not confident in what she truly has to offer?
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body
2) No earthly relationship will make you happy – Only God makes you happy and whole. Having a loving relationship with our Father in heaven is the only thing hat can make you fulfilled No relationship can fill that empty space in you that you try to fill with a litany of relationships, work etc.
Philippians 4:7 –And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
3) Marriage is sacred. Marriage is meant to join a man and a woman together FOREVER for the sole purpose of building a community to share the gospel and bring people you meet as a couple to God. That is it. Marriage is not meant to make you happy. A Godly marriage will be a happy marriage, but only because you are both fulfilling God’s divine purpose for your life.
Ephesians 5:31-32 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
4) Marriage is hard work. It is not meant for selfish people. It is not meant to fulfill your personal needs. If you find your person you want to dedicate your life to, you become selfless. You make concessions happily without expectations.
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, …
5) Pray in all circumstances. Especially in a relationship. from the beginning and throughout your entire relationship. There is no greater way to build lasting intimacy. There is no greater gift you can give your children
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing,
6) Your children are on loan to you. Once you have children you are their steward. They do not belong to you. They are not here to fulfill your unrequited dreams. They are here to become men and women of God and spread the gospel.
Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
7) Work hard when it is time to work. God designed you to provide for your family. It is plain and simple. You do not have the option to have a poor work ethic. Work with integrity.
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
8) Choose the Godly path. If you are not sure what to do choose the hardest answer. It is always the right one. The hard one is the holy spirit is leading you towards the right choice. The enemy makes the wrong answer the easy one.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
9) Be true to yourself and everyone around you. Being honest is sometimes the hardest choice but it never is a bad choice. Jesus never gave a politically correct answer only an honest one.
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverb 19:1 Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.
10) Take the high road… every time. The immediate gratification you feel from retaliating is not worth the soul sucking that comes from it in the future. Bite your tongue. Choose grace. Pray your way through your anger
Leviticus 19:18 You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD
Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
11) Be kind – Choose to be kind in every circumstance to every person. Not everyone may thank you or respond the same way, but what good comes from being unkind? You just feel cruddy about yourself. This is another one of those soul sucking things.
Hebrews 6:10 For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints.
Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
12) Assume the best in people – so much of the time if you show them kindness they will come around. Even if they are cranky. Think of those stories you hear about how some driver who cuts you off is running late to pick up a child or on their way to the hospital. You never know the story. Assume the best and you will all be better off for it.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
13) Be courageous Stand up for what is right. Even if it means loosing a relationship. The only relationship that really matters is the one you have God
1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
1 Peter 3:14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
14) Fellowship and Church are imperative – you must continue to grow in your relationships. Especially your relationship with God. No greater joy in life can be found than by walking hand in hand with God. You are the spiritual leader in your household.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
Hebrews 10:25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
15) Be aware of the gifts God gave you. Be grateful for them. Focus on those gifts and why God gave them to you. Put them to use to glorify Him. Don’t waste your energy focusing on the gifts you don’t have.
1 Peter 4:10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
16) Forgiveness – since we continually are receiving forgiveness we must do the same for others and especially for ourselves. We will make mistakes every day of our lives. Sometimes really big ones that hurt others. God forgives you the moment you sin. He wants you to forgive yourself too. Learn from your mistakes but don’t continue to self flog.
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
If we were able ensure our boys become men who try to live and love the way Jesus did then we are leaving a legacy I would be proud of.
What is important to you mommas? Anything we missed in the list? Let us know. xooxox